To Blackpool Dear Friends...And Buy Me A Hat..
I'm going to blackpool on saturday, mostly by force of my family who've never really gotten over the fact that Butlins didn't quite touch me in my special place - the void most people find filled with a heart. On t'upside I'm free of cardiac problems. Anyways, I always did like a good bit of tat, and I'm hoping to find it in abundance in Britain's answer to Vegas. Of course Vegas does have a touch of class about it which I'm afraid Blackpool can't even drunkenly snigger and say but does have saucy postcards, silly hats, rock and candyfloss so I'm sure the average holidaymaker would say " Let t'Yanks keep their fancy Vegas, we've got the Tower and Peter Kay, we're smashing." I say average, I really am going for as simple as can be. But a damning indictment of the average Briton holidaymaker is saved for later. Or not at all cos it's just not that interesting. Either way, I don't know if any of you know ut there were these cool touristy type thingies that I bought a few years back in Cornwall, Devon, places of that nature. Toffee making places. They were called something like Daisy's Doos and the toffee was shaped to look like a giant cow turd and then some paper was shredded up and painted green to look like grass and I never ate one but they looked really nice while being very convincing cow turds. I'm hoping to buy a snowglobe, maybe some chocolate or toffee, maybe a novelty tower if anyone gives me money to go on holiday which is unlikely though I can alwasy beg borrow or steal. Im not a slots or a gambling sort of woman, not at all in honesty, i find it all a bit beneath me ( snob alert, please commence toff laugh, bad haircut and slight smell of rotten fish hors d'oeuvres NOW). But I am in essence a BRITISH person. Thus, the candy floss, freezing cold seaside, hard sweets, tooth decay, seasonal proletariatness, novelty behattedness and of couse the great British institution Pick 'N' Mix lives truly within my heart. It'll probably be freezing knowing my luck. I'll have to pack the larger of my vaguely mini-metaller type hoodies. I'll no doubt enjoy the novelty of the Pepsi Max and other somesuch rollercoasters. I'll no doubt eat chips with more grease than your average hair gel factory and get some ( vomits) colour in my cheeks. It'll be synthetic and no doubt an allergic reaction to some offensively saucy rock but who am I if not a Brit on my hols. Wish me candy floss and dreams come true.
posted by Pennies_From_Heaven @ 12:28 PM
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